Life from afar

Ever wondered what it is like to feel?

I mean past all those passing emotions and fears?

u know the superficial stuff..

dig deep…

what is it u think of everyday right when you wake up?

and when you lay your head down?

cuz I believe that whatever you feeling at these 2 points sets the mood for the day…

everything else is just…

layers.

Layer of Layers of what you want to feel ,

what people make you feel ,

and what mother nature wants you to feel.

but deep down inside there’s still this mood that you can’t run away from…

ever…

at least from my point of view…

 

do not run away…

iamandwillbeheretostay

Lost and trying to be found

Standing at the edge of the abyss..
Contemplating..
Opportunities ; Decisions
Worth..

Past from present;
Future from naught..
Would be from has been’s

“I know I love it..”
I tell myself..
“I Know I care..”
“But Limits are limits ; and i am there”

Yet strangely happier..
Yet strangely silent..

Cant tell right from wrong
Up from down
left from right

someone throw me a compass please…
not some cup with a leaf and a needle in it..

whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection
whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection
whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection
whatdirection whatdirection whatdirection Where to now..

Black Bird

Black bird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly…
all your life…
We’re only waiting for this moment to arrive…

Black bird fly…
into the night of the darkness fly…

exceding headroom

to give and give is definitely wonderful..

but it comes to a point where u cant..

not cuz u dont wanna..

but cuz ur dry…

then..

what needs to be done?

what can be done to fill this soon to be empty shell..

to receive?

but receive what..

i had a dream last night..

where i was drowning…

at one point i just gave up..

strangely i felt peace after..

like i knew everything’s gonna be alright..

random huh..

good or bad i’ve yet to decide..

but i know that today’s been a relatively happy day..

thou i am still wearing heavy earings..

when will i ever be able to take em off!!!

Lets build our citadels from the ground..

SO THAT WE CAN

Burn our citadels to the ground..

sounds like a plan

Gerald

Still dreaming..

Protected: We’re so close yet We’re so far away…

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Calm waves of twilight illusions

Thus he wondered, will it get any worse? What more has life left to throw at me.  What are these games that happen around me although i am oblivious to em half the time? What is there more to feel? To experience? what cards do you have left to play huh! How much more will you toy with me. My strong is at its shearing edge. I can’t take it no more. It’s either me or the world…

it’s a sad sad lonely life… how to make it better? repetitive and filled with stress… Disappointments do not come seldom either. NUMB i am… I feel therefore i am… I think therefore i feel… I AM THEREFORE I THINK… Does that mean that i am numb?

numb to the world, numb to nature, numb to the people round me…

Numb to life…

will I i ever be any better?

cheers to life

Gerald

Dreams are never real; would they be please? Just this time…

Another blast from the past

Reminiscing thru lyrics of old, feeling’s once gone; return. An extract you will find is of such. A bridge actually. Cuz i find that bridges hold the soul of a song.  Encompassing all emotions poured out into it. The cutting of a diamond in a ring… So special and bizarre yet often overlooked…

Twilight sunsets, emotionless mornings, quiet afternoons… Is it all a dream?

Enjoy…

Bridge
Melodic whispers fill the air,
Like you caressing my hair.
But I know that you’re not there. (For me)

Melodic whispers fill the air
Like you caressing my hair.
But I know that you’re not there. (For me)

Melodic whispers fill the air
Like you caressing my hair.
But I know that you’re not there.
Cuz u passed on!!!

Am I not! Good enough.
Am I really that bad?
Are we not; meant to be….

cheers ,

Gerald

(a lil someting extra)

Twilight sunsets, emotionless mornings, quiet afternoons… Is it all a dream?

Careless whispers from northward yonder drift by,

Only accentuating moments of present;

Laying spread-eagle amid luscious blades of luxurious greenery

Under care from one of the many gifts from above…

Standing tall and strong in all its glory…

Shelter it gives, Rest; natural…

I am content….

PS. I dont think i have posted this song yet so i guess ill do it sometime next week…

My self discoveries (as of such)

All thanks to a few good friends of mine… (and alot of self-reflection)
i know have a better perspective of myself.
some could say that its more of a wake up slap…
BUT im taking it in good light anyway
For those who really want to know me better do keep reading on.
a caution to girls whom i have an interest in or have an interest in me (if…)
What i write below might or might not shatter your whole impression of me
But hey this is who I am inside (at least from what i have discovered la)
And you’re going to find out sooner or later…. (so who’s caring)

anyway let me begin…
Firstly i am really really really insecure inside…
so for those who are looking for a pillar of support guess i can’t help
Thou things might change in the following years but ohwells who knows…
So on that note yea i guess im kinda “shopping? around for some sort of a partner right now,
But i need a person who is really strong inside… (the irony of reversal of roles)
But sadly thou this leads to another of my self discoveries i am childish inside…
No matter how much i try to be an adult on the outside…
I am still stuck in my teenage years…
Thus i know for a fact that those type of girls whom i need would not be interested in a child like myself.(ohwells)
Unless a miracle happens i forsee myself remaining single for the near future…
One more thing is i guess i really need someone now who i can feel comfortable enough to share my deepest darkest secrets

with, all my emotions, all my feelings, all my doubts and fears… (a big sorry to all those whom i’m close to)
Trust me it’s not you… (corny as it may sound)
its me… ( i still needa sort myself out)

im having crushes all around and i dont know but somehow i feel that for each of them the feeling is real and something

good can come out from it. (am i just kidding myself? or is my gut feel right)
do not mistake my words…
i will put a hundred and ten percent of my effort into what i can get… (thou im sill a kid)
honestly dont expect much from me…
For i have nothing much to give… (just as yet)
oya i am also dam bloody possessive (thou im already changing that)[thanks to Mr. insecurity also]

To end this i guess ill just leave you readers with a preview of what qualities i look for in one…
mature, caring, my pillar of strength, trustworthy, loyal, talkative, fun loving, sporty, able to hold a meaningful

conversation, serious at times but playful at others, initiative , sad to say beauty does also play a part, spunky (idk ifi already mentioned tt but who cares).I guess that’s all i can come up with at the moment (preview ma)
My head is filled with alot of things thus making it hard to fish out whats relevant at times…
thus do not take everything i write as law.
there are a thousand more stuff that i want to write out but apparently it just slips my mind as of now…
Maybe ill have better luck in the future…

a little extract of my life

till next time,

cheers
Gerald

Have i just woke up from my dream…

Dreading the Yonder Loving Today

have you ever told yourself that you wanna do something with your life….

i know i have; but nothing ever gets done. Iguess wandering around trying to find my craft is to be my fate… a least for now.

I need the motivation, i need the strength… I NEED THE PASSION…

where has all these things gone? Used to be filled with some of these  iguess, but now im just numb…

living each day as it is… not thinking about the next.

am i happy? i dont know…

but am i content? no…

am i gunna do sommething about it? maybe?

Below is a little something  i just contocted up on the spot…

enjoy

Whatdoyouwant;orneed;ordesire

Winding down this long road we come to know as life…

Not being able to see whats ahead but able to reminicence on what has gone by…

All too often along this road a fork appears….

Left or right…

Even the seemingly easiest of choices can seem so mentally challenging and straining sometimes…

Espically if theres thick fog…

Trust your mind?

Or your gut…

Happy are the times when both come to a consensus…

Sadly more often than not; they disagree…

Each pelting you with their own versions of reason…

Confusion consumes like a tidal wave…

All too often…

Who would be there to shield it?

Or maybe fish you out of it…

Yourself or others?

Which is better…

You decide…

In water like confustion, you drown eventually…

Time is all too often a factor…

A luxary or a white elephant…

Thou in both senarios its still of some use…

Just depends on how you use it..

Use it wisely…

Or squander it…

HEH; time…

If only everything was not about you…

Thats all for today,

gerald…

and am I still dreaming?

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It just keeps coming nomatter how hard i try to stop it,

It hurts no matter how hard i dont want it,

It goes away as fast as it comes even i dont want it to…

what to do…

live with it LOR XD

nothing ever works out the way i want it to…

Therefore my life is colourfull…

the irony…